


I Think That Both Of Us Want To Go Out With You

by sofacat16



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Abusive Relationships (Past), Angst, Drugs, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Human squip, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'm Bad At Tagging, Jealousy, Jeremy x squip is BAD. it's for the plot only I promis, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Relationship(s), Please Don't Hate Me, Polyamory, Roommates, Wishful Thinking, hooo boy im sorry, plot is changing as we go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-04-27 11:12:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14424189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sofacat16/pseuds/sofacat16
Summary: mikeyweed: im gonna have a friend over tonight for dinner, u wanna joinjerbear: sure what are we having and who’s the friendjerbear: it’s not the fucking kind of friend rightmikeyweed: no shut upmikeyweed: its my friend chritisnemikeyweed: *christinemikeyweed: she does theaterjerbear: awesome i’ll be there---jeremy likes two (2) people. that's not good, right? especially since one of them is his best friend, and the other one he's dating. well shit.





	1. and they were roommates (oh my god they were roommates)

**Author's Note:**

> so this chapter is short,,, as usual. i don't know how roommates work, so bear with me please.

The knock that sounded on the door of Jeremy’s apartment was probably the scariest noise he’d heard since last Halloween when Brooke had secretly installed a screaming doorbell in Jeremy’s front door. 

He scrambled to open it, though, and behind it stood a pretty damn attractive man.

“Hey,” the man said. “Uh- you’re Jeremy, right? I’m Michael.”

Jeremy nodded. “Y- uh, yeah I’m Jeremy! Um-”

He broke off, gulping, as his brain had functioned just well enough for a stuttering introduction, and had decided to screech to a halt as he took in Michael.

Michael was a couple inches taller than Jeremy, and had the nicest smile Jeremy had ever seen. His black hair was tousled as if it had been pulled back with a hand just a moment ago, and he was wearing a red hoodie covered in patches. A pair of headphones were slung around his neck, and glasses perched on his nose. His eyes behind the glasses were brown and warm, and Jeremy kind of- just- almost stopped breathing. 

“Uh- could I come in?” Michael asked, breaking Jeremy’s trance of staring at him. “Is this the right time- or did I-”

“No- no, come on in,” Jeremy stammered, stepping back and internally berating himself. Dumb, dumb, don’t stare like a creep at a potential roommate!

“This way,” he directed, bringing Michael back through the hall. “I- I’ll show you around first, then we could do the interview?”

“Sure,” Michael said, looking around the hall. 

“Here’s the living room,” Jeremy said, going in through the doorway. He cringed at the mess of wires sprawled near the wall next to the TV. “Sorry about the mess, I-”

“Dude! You play Apocalypse of the Damned! That is the best game! What level are you on?” Michael ran forward, grinning as he examined the shelf of games. He turned, slowing as he saw Jeremy’s shocked face at the outburst. He paused. 

“Sorry, I-”

“No, it’s cool!” Jeremy burst out. “I love AoD! I can’t get past level nine though…”

“We should play sometime,” Michael said. “That is- if you want-”

“Yeah, definitely,” Jeremy grinned. This guy would be a good roommate. He hoped the rest of the interview went well.

\---

The rest of the interview did go well, and four months later, Jeremy was dragging himself out of bed at six in the morning to the smell of pancakes. He stumbled into the kitchen to find Michael at the stove, a stack of them pancakes on the table.

“I love you, man,” Jeremy groaned, slumping in a chair and grabbing a pancake.

“No problem buddy,” Michael replied, flipping another pancake. “Anything for my player two! Also I know you have an audition today, so I figured you could use an actual breakfast before your long day.”

“You, sir, are my favorite person,” Jeremy said through a mouthful of pancake. 

“And you are disgusting,” Michael said. “I gotta go to work, like, now, so… bye!”

He gave Jeremy a quick pat on his shoulder and was out the door, grabbing his skateboard on the way and flipping his headphones up. 

Jeremy waved, and his hand hung in the air as he watched the door slam shut. The silence lingered as he smiled fondly at the scent of Michael and pancakes still hanging in the air.


	2. christine and cuddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> christine makes an entrance!! ft. michael's pov

mikeyweed: im gonna have a friend over tonight for dinner, u wanna join

jerbear: sure what are we having and who’s the friend 

jerbear: it’s not the fucking kind of friend right 

mikeyweed: no shut up

mikeyweed: its my friend chritisne

mikeyweed: *christine 

mikeyweed: she does theater 

jerbear: awesome i’ll be there

mikeyweed: its in our house youd be there either way 

jerbear: fuck off 

jerbear: i won’t hide in my room is what you know i meant 

mikeyweed: lmao see u soon 

The dinner wasn’t half-bad, as it wasn’t Chinese take-out (which the boys had eaten for five nights in a row before tonight),and Michael cooked it after grocery shopping, meaning their refrigerator actually had more food in it than a half-empty bottle of vinegar and a head of lettuce. Christine was good company too, all bouncy and talking nonstop, about theater and video games and kittens she had fostered last weekend for a friend and the cast party she went to last year, and Jeremy seemed immediately relaxed in the scene as they all laughed at Michael’s imitation of his guitar teacher, Mr. E.

After dinner they all played Cards Against Humanity, which Christine said she’d never played before. Of course, she destroyed them both three games in a row immediately after that proclamation.

“‘In the seventh circle of hell, sinners must endure some douche with an acoustic guitar for all eternity.’ I feel attacked,” Michael said, pushing the cards away from him. 

“When I die, you’re gonna be down there, torturing me,” Jeremy mumbled, hanging upside down off the couch. 

Christine giggled. “I won’t have to deal with that, because I’m a fucking angel. I’m going to the good place, my grandma’s attic.”

“What the fuck?” Jeremy slurred sleepily. 

“Oop, the child is tired,” Michael grinned, looking over at Jeremy’s hooded eyes. “You should get to bed.”

“I should probably take off, too,” Christine said, standing and wavering in place. “It was super nice meeting you, Jeremy!”

“You too,” Jeremy said, attempting to sit up and falling on his head. He settled for waving upside down. 

“Bye, Micah,” Christine said, hugging Michael, and then she was out the door. Michael slumped down on the couch next to Jeremy, the softly playing Bob Marley in the background lulling his head back and eyes half-closed. 

“Mikey?” 

“Yeah,” he said, looking over at Jeremy who was on the ground, laying flat out. 

“Christine’s nice… she’s cute,” he mumbled. Michael raised his eyebrows. 

“Hm! Okay…” he filed that thought away for later. Jeremy was bi. He knew that. So here’s a cute girl, who Michael knew would be perfect for Jeremy. Maybe he should set them up… but… 

Jeremy was on the couch next Michael all of a sudden, snuggled into his side. Michael smiled. He could think about setting his friends up later. Now was the time for sleepy bodies, pressed together-- completely platonically, of course, but cuddles with Jeremy were a necessity after a day, which he would now have. He drifted off to sleep with Jeremy’s snores filling his ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gah i'm sorry this fic updates once in a blue moon and with short chapters, too, but i'm just not writing as much recently, although luckily i have the story semi-planned out. please leave a comment or kudos to motivate me as those feed my soul


	3. lunch? just the two of us?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kisses in michael's room (not what y'all think. probably.)

Almost a month had passed since Michael had introduced Jeremy and Christine, and they could not have been better. Jeremy and Christine became fast friends, and the three of them quickly established traditions- game night every Tuesday for instance, where they played anything from Uno to Apocalypse of the Damned. This was the college he was talking about, back in high school when he got through the long and painful days of bullying and homework and nagging parents. His mantra had become a reality- he was actually pretty cool in college. 

“Hey, Michael?” 

Michael was brought out of his half-conscious thoughts by a soft voice in his ear. He looked blearily around his dimly lit living room to identify the source of the voice- Christine, curled up next to him on the couch. 

“Yeah?” he mumbled back. On his other side, Jeremy shifted, snuffling as he turned in his sleep. 

“What would you think… if I asked out Jeremy?”

Michael jolted upright and turned to Christine. “W-what? Yeah, go for it! I’m fine with that! Totally! Why?” 

“You think he’s into me?” 

“Definitely!” Michael’s voice had raised an octave and in volume. His heart was pounding in his ears. Why was his heart pounding in his ears? “Yeah, go for it! He’s definitely into you!”

“You- are you sure?” Christine was whispering, and Jeremy was stirring next to Michael. 

“Yup!” Michael lowered his voice. “Yeah, do it!” 

“Okay,” Christine whispered, settling her head back on Michael’s shoulder. Michael stayed where he was, staring into space. Why was there a pit in his stomach?

\--

Jeremy was sitting on the couch, his head buried in his hands. Notes were scattered around him, he was wearing a stained shirt and old sweatpants, and a day old bowl of cereal sat on the table next to him. The scene was the physical manifestation of how he felt. Jeremy was a day old bowl of cereal. He groaned, nearly missing the sound of the doorbell. 

The sound brought him to his feet and his brain out of the gutter, where it promptly kicked into overdrive, sending every thought like who’s at the door who’s at the door and oh fucking hell I look like a mess and my house looks like a trash bin almost as much as i do spiralling through his brain. He grabbed a hoodie from a nearby pile on the floor, praying it wasn’t stained and/or reeking of body odor, and pulled it over his head to hide his shirt, and opened the door. 

“Hi Jeremy!” Christine greeted. Then she noticed his appearance. “Is this a good time?”

“Yeah, this- this is a great time!” Jeremy said, opening the door wider. “C-come on in, ignore the mess please, let’s go to Michael’s room now.”

He swept Christine through the living room and down the hall, kicking open the door to the only clean room in the house, Michael the Neat Freak’s room. Christine instantly flopped down on the bed. 

“Is Michael at work?” 

Jeremy nodded, sitting down next to Christine. 

“Wanna play video games or watch a bootleg of Spring Awakening that I have?”

“The bootleg,” Jeremy said. “Duh.”

Christine grinned, fidgeting with the hem of her dress. “Obviously.” 

Neither of them moved. Christine swung her legs, and the last spoken words hung awkwardly in the silence. 

“Um, Jeremy, could I ask you something?” Christine said, coughing.

“Y-yeah, sure, g-go ahead?” Jeremy responded. Almost immediately a rush of words poured out of Christine’s mouth. 

“Do you want to go out sometime?”

Jeremy stared, eyes widening. His brain had frozen- does not compute. How was his luck making this happen? A cute girl, his friend, someone he would most definitely want to date was asking him out? Oh god, he hadn’t responded. Christine’s cheeks reddened.

“I mean- oh god, I’m sorry this is so awkward, but I was thinking that it’d be nice and maybe we could get lunch or something-”

Jeremy cut her off. “No, Christine that’s- that’s great! I’d l-love to go out with you, that’s fantastic-”

It was Christine’s turn to cut him off by taking his head in her hands and planting a kiss on his mouth. They broke apart after a couple seconds, grinning. 

“Um, so lunch tomorrow- are you free tomorrow?” Christine started, then giggled. “Oh, this is great! Jer, you’re so-”

Jeremy kissed her again, melting into it. She grabbed his shirt, but they broke apart again at the door slamming open. 

“AH- why?” 

Michael was standing in the doorway. “Why on my bed? It’s my room!” 

He dropped his bag in the door and started forward. “Out, out, the both of you! Go make out in Jer’s room or something!”

“In that pigsty? Nah, Micah, I’m just gonna go. Are we on for lunch, Jer?” Christine bounced up off the bed, Jeremy following. 

“Y-yeah, definitely,” Jeremy said. Christine raised herself up on her toes, grabbing Jeremy’s shoulders and kissed him again. 

“Ah, gross, not in my doorway!” Michael complained.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay stagedorks! leave a comment if you enjoyed it those give me life


	4. it's not halloween but let's have a party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> christine and jer have a date i guess
> 
> michael and jer go to a party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see if you can spot the not so subtle dirk gently references

“Hey Jer!” Christine greeted sunnily as she swung into her usual seat at the cafe. Jeremy looked up from his laptop. 

“Hey Chris,” he responded, leaning across the table and kissing her. “How was your day?” 

“It was great! In improv, we made this scene…”

Jeremy watched her talk excitedly, a fond smile on his face. He loved these afternoons. They’d been dating for a month and a week and had already established this- tradition, he supposed, or routine- of meeting at the Beans coffee shop on 8th every Thursday after class and his shift at the Costco in town. He loved these afternoons- they were so calm, regular, with golden sunbeams lighting the shop and Christine’s excited rambles-- speaking of which, she was asking him something. 

“Huh?”

“I said, are you going to the party tomorrow night? Jake’s party?”

“Um, I don’t- I don’t know. Are you going?”

“You should! I’m not going, because the cast of Femme is going out for drinks and I wanna go, but you should totally go! Michael’s going!”

“Okay,” he said, because really, what would he have done with his Friday night with both Christine and Michael busy? Probably stayed at home and watched a ridiculous amount of Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Dirk Gently, with sounded pleasant as hell, but he should work on socializing more and a party was a semi-decent way to do that-- if he failed at talking to people he could at least get really drunk then have an excuse to avoid human interaction for the rest of the weekend. 

“When does your show open anyway?” Jeremy asked, switching the subject. Femme was the show Christine was in and had also helped write. It sounded incredibly cool, but for all Christine loved to talk, she kept the plot of the show secret, telling Jeremy to wait for opening night. It was driving him crazy curiosity. 

“Oh! Well, we’re not entirely sure, because Brooke just noticed a bit of a plot hole so we have to rewrite a part of it…”

The conversation and afternoon faded into the evening, and before Jeremy knew, he was dropping Christine off at her apartment and going down the hall to his, to fall on the couch with his bag full of a ridiculous amount homework. 

\--

The party was in full swing when Michael and Jeremy pulled up in front of Jake’s shared house on the outskirts of town in Michael’s PT Cruiser he got in high school. Jeremy pulled anxiously at his sleeve, the deep pumping base rattling the car and probably registering as a small earthquake as it rolled through the ground. 

“You know,” Michael said, looking over at Jeremy, who was watching the silhouettes of bodies dancing against flashing lights through the windows with a rather intimidated expression on his face, “we could just head home and watch Parks and Rec. I could text Jake that you weren’t feeling great or something-”

“No,” Jeremy decided. “Let’s just go in.”

“Yeah! ” Michael pumped his fist like a cheerleader in a cheesy high school movie , and the two exited the car. 

The door of the house was open as Jeremy and Michael approached it, and the music was even louder. 

“Is this loud enough for you?” Jeremy yelled in Michael’s ear over the music. Michael elbowed him with a grin on his face, as that was a bit of a joke between them-- the amount of times Jeremy had had to tell Michael to turn down his music because Jeremy could hear the Bob Marley blasting out of them from across the room was uncounted but quite a few. 

“Shh,” Michael responded loudly. “I’m not deaf yet.”

They pushed past flailing limbs and couples that were so far down each other’s throats it looked like a snake swallowing a mouse, and made it to the kitchen where a girl in baggy sweatpants and slides sat next to Jake in a corner. The two were laughing, and looked up as Jeremy and Michael entered, each lifting a red solo cup in greeting. 

“I thought we left those cups in high school,” Jeremy grinned, waving awkwardly. 

“Red solo cups will never be left behind!” the girl said a bit too loudly. Michael laughed. 

“Hey guys,” Jake said. “This is Tina.”

“Sup,” Tina said, downing the last of her cup. “We’re the cool people chilling in the kitchen, instead of dancing in a leopard print onesie on the coffee table while five seconds from puking.”

She gestured toward the living room, where a very drunk Madeline Blanche from Jeremy’s bio class was doing just that. 

“Actually, that looks like fun,” she added, as Jake said, “I think you’ve had a bit too much tequila to be chilling, Ti.”

She jumped dramatically to her feet. “Bye, bitches. I’m gonna go dance with that girl!”

The three boys watched her leave. 

“She’s cool, isn’t she,” Jake said, a grin on his face. 

“Yeah- but now I’ve been more inspired! Get some alcohol in my system!” Michael laughed, grabbing a cup and looking around. “Normally I’m more of a weed guy, but tonight I’m just in a drunk mood.”

“There’s some beer in the fridge and in coolers in the living room, and probably a bunch more stuff in those coolers… I don’t really know,” Jake said. “Go wild.”

“You coming Jer?” Michael asked, hovering at the kitchen doorway. 

“Nah, I’ll catch up in a sec, okay? I gotta drive, remember?” 

“Okay!” Michael said, turning and disappearing into the dancing. 

“You’re getting him home? That’s cool, bro,” Jake said.

“Well, yeah, I don’t really mind. Michael does the weirdest shit when he’s drunk and it’s a small price to pay to be sober enough to video him well.”

Jake laughed. 

“Why aren’t you out there, grinding on Rich’s chest and shit?” Jeremy asked, gesturing at Jake, then the party where Rich was badly singing along to Whitney Houston. 

Jake’s smile slipped a bit. “Just-- bad memories kinda came up tonight. Remember that fire at my parent’s place in high school?”

Jeremy nodded. 

“Yeah, well, I had a party and that’s when it happened. Broke both my legs getting out of that. It was kinda shit. You weren’t there, right?”

“No, I just heard about it,” Jeremy said. “That sucks, man.”

Jake shrugged. “Yeah. Anyway, that’s why I’m mostly sober. I wanna just keep an eye out right now. There’ll be plenty of parties to go to and get fucked up, but not tonight.”

“That’s really cool,” Jeremy said. “Th- that you’re doing that then.”

“Hey, you were in that play in high school, right? Like, crackhead Shakespeare zombie shit with that weirdo hot pocket teacher?” Jake asked suddenly. Jeremy felt like hitting himself. Jake was changing the subject because he made him uncomfortable, talking about traumatic memories and Jeremy continued the conversation, and now it was awkward-- oh, right, the question.

“Y-yeah, Mr. Reyes? I remember that. I told Christine and she almost cried. About the mutilated Shakespeare. It was kinda funny.”

Jake grinned. “Christine’s your girlfriend right? She’s really cool.”

“Yeah, she is,” Jeremy agreed. 

They shared a grin, and Jeremy's shoulders relaxed from tenseness he hadn't known was there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im just writing jer and christine's relationship like mine and my girlfriend's so forgive me if that is not what straight couples do
> 
> um jake and jeremy went to high school together and are kind of friends because of that in college
> 
> i also don't know anything about college parties so 
> 
> comment or kudos if ya liked it because that stuff is my lifeblood


	5. holy shit that's a lot of drama. you sure this isn't a soap opera?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> drunk michael does a thing that confuses jeremy, then sober michael does a thing that makes jeremy upset. holy shit. i didn't plan this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoa, two chapters within 2 days? i must be dreaming

The night passed, and all too quickly it was two in the morning and Jeremy was dragging Michael to the car. It had been good. Everyone had been too drunk to see Jeremy and Jake’s bad dancing when they got bored of sitting, and they had some great conversations with some drunk girls. 

Michael was giggling as Jeremy dropped him into the passenger’s seat. Jeremy was half amused, half annoyed with him by the time they reached their apartment. 

“Hey, Jer,” Michael mumbled as Jeremy unlocked their apartment. 

“What, Mikey,” Jeremy asked, ushering the other man into the living room, where he promptly collapsed on the couch. 

“Come… come here.”

Jeremy obeyed, sitting down next to Michael on the ratty couch. Then Michael leaned forward, seizing the back of Jeremy’s head and kissing him suddenly, before dropping back on the couch cushions and passing out immediately. Jeremy spluttered, face reddening and hands beginning to shake as he staggered upward, arms flailing. He stared down at Michael, who was snoring. 

“W-what the fuck, dude?” he stuttered, reaching down tentatively and gently shaking Michael’s shoulder. “Michael. MICHAEL. What the hell!”

Michael didn’t budge, continuing to snore. Jeremy turned and quickly headed to his room. This wasn’t a big deal. He could go to sleep, because that kiss didn’t affect him in any way other than being a bit of a surprise, but Michael was blackout drunk and he would almost definitely not remember it in the morning. He didn’t kiss him because he had feelings for him, right? And Jeremy was not going to overthink his reaction to it, because he most definitely didn’t have any kind of feelings toward Michael, right? He had a girlfriend! He could just go to sleep and ignore that that ever happened. Right? 

Wrong. It was four AM and Jeremy was still lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, thoughts racing in circles over the ten seconds of stuff that had happened at 2:15 that morning. And also over analyzing every intimate moment he and Michael had ever had. His only clear thought: WELL, FUCK. 

\---

Apparently Jeremy’s brain decided to shut down at some point, because he woke up in his jeans on top of his bed, a stream of drool dried on his face. He sat up, rubbing that off and blinking heavily. What… suddenly all his thoughts from that morning came rushing back to him, and he stood up quickly. He was going to take a shower. 

“Good afternoon,” Michael mumbled as Jeremy walked into the kitchen fifteen minutes later. He looked at the clock, and it was indeed the afternoon- a bit after noon. Michael was cradling a cup of coffee, and his glasses were askew, hair a bird’s nest. 

“ ‘Afternoon,” Jeremy replied, going to the fridge. There was almost nothing there, so he grabbed the nearly empty carton of half and half, and headed to the cabinet. “Do you… uh…. Remember anything from last night?”

“Not so loud, please,” Michael groaned. “Dude, no. I don’t even… why? Did I do anything I’m gonna regret? I remember at one point there was a racoon…” 

“Nah, man,” Jeremy said, a feeling that was a mixture of relief and some other strange sinking feeling washing through him. “You’re good, I think.” 

“Okay, thanks, dude. Now, could you, please, keep it down? I have such a fucking headache... I forgot how fucking awful hangovers could be.”

Jeremy grinned. “Yeah, okay. You brought this upon yourself.”

“Shush!”

The next afternoon, Jeremy hung out with Christine. They lay on the couch, a soda in hand, an old episode of Brooklyn 99 playing on Jeremy’s laptop, which was balanced on Jeremy’s knees. Christine’s head was in his lap. Jeremy was desperately ignoring his whirling thoughts, instead focusing on listing everything about Christine that he loved. It was a lot, and his brain was really tired, so he just watched Jake and Amy look for a corgi as Christine quietly and absently hummed Popular from Wicked. 

The door opened, slamming against the wall in the way Michael always opened it. There was an ever-growing mark on the wall behind it, and Jeremy had learned the hard way to not leave anything there. Michael entered, followed by a tall man with curly black hair. His most noticeable feature, however, was his electric blue eyes that met Jeremy’s when he looked up. Jeremy quickly looked away. There was something intimidating about this guy, and also something familiar--

“Jeremy?”

The guy spoke, and Jeremy stiffened. He most definitely recognized this guy. He sat up, ignoring Christine’s noise of protest at her pillow leaving, and grabbed Michael’s arm, pulling him down the hall with a stilted “excuse us.” 

\---

“Dude- Jer, what the heck?” Michael said bewilderedly after Jeremy had slammed the door of his room and sat Michael down on the bed. 

“No- no, you what the heck! That’s SEBASTIAN, as in Sebastian Quint Umber Ilmony Pierce! He fucked me and Rich up freshman year! He’s my fucking ex! Why did you bring him here?”

“Wait- dude, what? That’s the Sebastian? He’s nothing like how you described him! And I didn’t know!”

“Well, now you do! Get him out!” 

“Wait, Jeremy-” Michael started, then took a deep breath. “Jer, can you just calm down for a sec?”

“No, Michael! I can’t!” Jeremy’s voice was rising in pitch and octaves steadily as he paced in front of Michael. His arms, which had been wildly gesturing as he yelled, were still flailing and Michael leaned backward as Jeremy stepped toward him. “He ruined my life!”

“Jer, he’s your ex, you’re going to have hard feelings but he’s not that bad-”

“It’s not just that he’s my ex, Michael! He’s awful! Rich can testify!” 

“Listen, Jer, we’re friends okay?” Michael said, grabbing Jeremy’s hands as he stopped. Jeremy went quiet, arms going limp. “We’re friends! I didn’t know that this was the guy that you hate, but he’s not that bad, he’s really nice and maybe you could give him a chance?”

“Michael, what the fuck,” Jeremy whispered. “No. And how could you could know he’s my ex? Did I not come up in all the times you hung out with him?”

“Well, we haven’t hung out too much--”

“Still! Have you not asked who he’s dated, who you both know?”

“We mostly just get high together and stuff,” Michael said. Jeremy’s hand went to his forehead. 

“Really?”

“Well, yeah! He’s-” 

“No- no. I don’t want to hear about this, okay? Just- just don’t expect me to not say ‘I told you so’ when he fucks up your life too.” With that, Jeremy got up and walked out of the room, grabbing his cardigan from the door on his way out. Michael followed in time to see Christine staring Sebastian down as Jeremy pulled on his converse. 

“We’re going out,” Jeremy told Michael in response to his questioning look at the shoes. “Be back when he’s gone.”

Sebastian had the audacity to look confused and a bit offended. Michael was definitely going to ask him about everything later, but his head was spinning and he was regretting most of his conversation with Jeremy. Everything was happening really fast and he just wanted to sit down and talk it out, but that wasn’t going to happen, so he settled for waving and saying “I’ll text you.” 

“Bye, Michael.” Christine waved as she followed Jeremy out the door. 

Jesus fuck. What a mess. 

“What was that- was that Jeremy Heere?” Sebastian asked. 

“You know what? Let’s just go get high. We’ll talk later.” Michael sighed, and headed to his bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy fuck, i don't even know. there's a lot of stuff going on here that i escalated. what fun! leave a comment and/or kudos if you like this! those are my lifeblood!


	6. two bros crying on a bed, they're both bi and fucked up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jer is a mess, rich is trying to not be a mess, and jake and christine are supportive

When Jeremy knocked on the door of Jake’s house, eyes wet in anger and cheeks flushed, Jake let him in without question. Granted, Christine had texted ahead and was standing behind him, a supportive hand on his lower back as they walked past Jake holding the door, but he would have anyway from the look on Jeremy’s face. Jake hadn’t seen that look on anyone else but Rich, on nights when he got lost in memories and regret and alcohol. 

“Is Rich here?” Jeremy asked, once he’d made his way to the gross old couch in the middle of the living room. 

Jake shook his head. “He’s still at work… I haven’t told him yet. Do you want to talk? Do you need anything?” 

“I thought he was gone!” Jeremy burst out. “I thought I wouldn’t have to see him again, remember how much of a fucking idiot I was- I still am-”

“Could you get us some water?” Christine interrupted, probably because Jeremy looked two seconds away from either throwing something or bawling, and his speech had devolved into disconnected angry stuttering. Jake headed to the kitchen, but stopped at the doorway.

“Do you guys want to head to my room?”

Christine nodded gratefully, standing and leading Jeremy up the stairs to Jake’s room. 

Jake came into the room to find Jeremy with his head in Christine’s lap, her hand on his chest, both taking deep breaths. He set down the glasses of water he held on the dresser, and sat on the bed.

“Do you think Rich should know?” Jeremy asked. “I don’t want to burden him with anything, but…”

“Yes. He should,” Jake said firmly. “In any case, you need someone who shared your experience to talk to.”

Jeremy stared wordlessly at the ceiling. They sat like that for a bit, until Christine’s phone started blasting “King of New York.” She fumbled it out of her jacket pocket, and tapped at the screen until the song stopped, bringing the phone up to her ear.

“Hey, Brooke... oh my god! Sorry, I can’t help right now, Jer’s-”

Jeremy jolted up. “Do they need you?”

Christine nodded, a distressed look on her face. “Chloe broke her wrist during a dance lesson, and Jenna just lost her script again, and- I feel like I should-”

“Go ahead! It’s fine,” Jeremy said, fully sitting up. “Go help those helpless children.”

“Shush,” Christine said, standing up and glancing at him nervously. “Are you sure?”

“I’ll be right here to make sure he doesn’t jump out a window or something stupid,” Jake said, grinning. “You’re good.”

Christine scurried out the door, still looking back every few steps until she was down the hall. Jake looked over at Jeremy. 

“So, man, you okay?”

Jeremy shrugged. “He fucked me up, you know? I haven’t fully told Christine what happened yet, I don’t want her to think- think less of me.”

“She won’t, dumbass,” Jake said. “Have you explained it to Michael fully?”

Jeremy shook his head, looking away. “I told him a little, but he said he’s not that bad when I reminded him who he was hanging out with, and he kinda just dismissed how upset I wa- am.”

“Well, tell him what really happened! What have you told him?”

“Just-” Jeremy scratched at his neck, “that stuff happened, with drugs and stuff, that fucked me and Rich up. I didn’t really go into detail, it was-”

“He’ll come around. If he doesn’t, I’ll beat his ass. You wanna play a game or something, to take your mind off it?” Jake asked, noticing how Jeremy seemed to be receding into his sweater. 

The brunet nodded. “Whatcha thinking?”

Jake grinned. “Monopoly?”

\----

Rich walked into to Jake’s room to find Jake throwing monopoly money at Jeremy while Jeremy used the board as a shield, using the little plastic houses as his ammo.

“Infants, the both of you,” he said dramatically, walking past them and collapsing onto Jake’s bed. “Jeremy, why are you here?”

“Oh! Um…” Jeremy’s face dropped as quickly as the board, which fell out of his hands to the floor. “Hanging out, playing Monopoly, Sebastian showed up with Michael this afternoon-”

“What.” 

Jake glanced between the two, as if not sure what to do or who to comfort. 

“Yeah, Michael fucking brought him to our apartment today, to get blazed or some dumb shit reason,” Jeremy said, face darkening. 

Rich’s first thought was “well, that escalated quickly.” His second thought was incomprehensible internal screaming. He whipped up into a seated position.

“What the fuck?!”

“Do you guys need me, or do you want to yell?” Jake said, standing up. 

“Yelling would be good right now, thanks,” Rich said, eyes fixed on Jeremy, who had the same look of disbelief and anger on his face. It was wavering though, and Jake left before Jeremy’s started glistening with tears- again. 

Jeremy clambered up onto the bed with Rich’s beckoning hand, and the two lay back. 

“He just fucking- he was just there. He barely even recognized me.”

“That’s a good thing, though, right?”

“Well, wouldn’t you be a little insulted if the guy who dated you, only so he could drug you repeatedly and hit you all the while cheating on you, almost making you kill yourself forgot about you?”

Rich looked over. Jeremy was staring at the ceiling determinedly, jaw set but throat bobbing as he held back tears. 

“Well, I’d be fucking relieved.”

“Same,” Jeremy sighed. “But he just- he looked different? But it was him! But he- I don’t know.”

Rich rolled over and screamed into the pillow for a few seconds. He rolled back onto his back and turned to Jeremy, who was still not yet crying.

“Dude, scream into the pillow.”

Jeremy laughed wetly. “Not doing that.”

“It’s therapeutic!” 

Jeremy rolled his eyes, sniffling and grabbing a pillow. “Fine.”

A minute later, Jeremy was still screaming into the pillow. Rich gently grabbed at the edges and tried to pull it away from him, but Jeremy held on. He stopped yelling and hugged the pillow to his chest, breathing heavily.

“Jesus fuck dude, that was intense,” Rich said in near disbelief. “Real stress reliever huh?”

Jeremy nodded, staring at a spot on the wall across the room. He was still gasping for breath, and his cheeks were red and wet with tears, which Rich pretended not to notice. He patted Jeremy’s shoulder though, purposely looking at the spot Jeremy was so the brunet could wipe discreetly at his face. 

“It’s okay dude.” 

“Is it?” Jeremy whispered. Rich shrugged. He felt like screaming again. He could barely believe that piece of shit was back. He was mostly angry- at Sebastian, at-- well, mostly at Sebastian. Another part of him was just numb and still in shock, the part that was keeping him from punching a wall, the part that was making kind of jokes/comforting Jeremy. A third part of him, the part he shoved down deep every night but was bubbling to the surface, was scared and freaked out and guilty and wanted to cry his lungs out and curl up in a ball--

His eyes burned with tears, and he blinked them back, rolling over again to hug Jeremy. Jeremy’s shoulders shook, and Rich stared at the wall, mind going in circles of static and emotion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gah, sorry this took so long. i'm still flying blind on this, but let me know if you like it with comment or a kudos!


	7. christine and cuddles 2.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> christine is just so supportive and this whole chapter is pretty soft
> 
> or
> 
> the author apparently can't write a scene with anything remotely steamy in it without shutting it down as quickly as she shuts down conversations

Christine’s mind, emotions and life were a whirlwind of mixed activity. After getting Chloe to a clinic, which took a really long a time and a lot of Brooke worrying, she printed out three extra copies of the script– unfortunately not with Jenna’s notes on them– in a professor’s room, and was heading home to take a nap when she remembered that she left Jeremy at Jake and Rich’s place. She pulled over to massage her temples and debate driving across town. The sun was beginning to set, and she wanted to be with Jeremy, help him, kiss him– but her eyelids were drooping, and she’d reached the level of overwhelmed that her skin felt wrong on her body.

She settled for calling, and as the phone rang, finally had a moment for thoughts to flood and clutter in her brain. She was relieved when Jeremy picked up, voice hoarse. 

“Hey Chris.”

“Hey baby, do you need a ride?” she asked. Jeremy sniffled, and Christine’s heart wrenched. She’d seen her boyfriend cry before, but it hurt every time. She felt guilty, and just sad, because she wasn’t with him to hold him, and she couldn’t do anything against the stuff making him cry– his own thought tornado, that got too dark sometimes, and sometimes she would find him crying into Michael’s shoulder, but he couldn’t now– oh, he was talking.

“No, I’m fine, I can get Rich to drive me home or get an Uber or something.” 

There was a pause. Words hovered on the tip of Christine’s tongue, switching every second. 

“Do you need me with you tonight?” she asked, squinting against the sunset in her eyes, a swirl of pink and purple and orange and bright, bright yellow. 

Jeremy breathed heavily into the phone, and Christine took that as a yes. 

“How about you come to my apartment?” 

“That’d be nice,” Jeremy whispered. 

“I’m going to pick you up,” Christine decided, as the thought occurred that it made more sense for her to get her boyfriend than someone else having to drive him to where she was already going. Besides, she wanted to see him as soon as possible. 

“Okay,” Jeremy said. “I’ll just… be here. Heere.” 

He chuckled. Christine giggled. “Be there in ten, babe.”

“Love you,” he said softly. 

“I love you too,” she replied. She hoped he could hear the smile in her voice. 

\---

Jeremy’s eyes were red and his hair stuck up as he slid into the passenger seat. Christine put her hand on his, leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. 

“Hey,” he practically whispered. 

“Hey,” Christine whispered back, in his ear. He turned his head and kissed her on the mouth, a soft smile on his lips. She kissed back, leaning further onto his seat. Jeremy pulled away after a minute, slumping against the seat back and putting his head back on the headrest, looking at the ceiling. 

“You wanna go get food?” he said after a minute. Christine nodded, looking at him one more time before turning to start up the car. 

“Panda Express?”

Jeremy grinned. “You know me so well.”

Christine pulled away from the house, flicking on the headlights as she made her way down the street. Jeremy put his head back again, eyes closed. Christine focused on the road, but she glanced over at him every few minutes, in time to catch his head slump to the side, breathing evening out into his sleeping breathing. She smiled, glad he was asleep. 

The bright red sign of the Panda Express shone overhead like a sign from the heavens, helping illuminate the parking lot as Christine drove in and found a spot. She turned off the car and climbed out, shutting the door as silently as possible. She knew Jeremy’s usual order. 

She climbed back into the car several minutes later, Jeremy still asleep against the window. Smiling, she pulled the car out of the parking lot, and drove through the quiet streets of the town to her apartment. 

\---

When the two entered Christine’s bedroom after eating every last bite of the chinese food, Jeremy flopped on the bed, Christine jumping on top of him. He let out a wheeze, and she gasped, rolling off him.

“Sorry!” 

“No, it’s fine,” Jeremy croaked, and held out his arms. Christine sat up, scooting over to Jeremy and putting his head in her lap. He smiled, bringing his arms up to rest above his head and almost around Christine’s waist. 

“Hey,” Christine said softly. 

“Hey.”

She leaned down and kissed him, soft and slow. He cupped his hands, upside down, around her cheeks, and deepened the kiss, until he was arching his back, and Christine’s lower back was straining to lean down far enough. She pulled back. 

“Wait.”

She pulled her legs out from under his head, and crawled around on the bed so she could climb on top of Jeremy, straddling his hips. She leaned down again, cupping her hands around his face. She could feel his hands on her hips. She kissed him, deepening the kiss as he moved his hands to her ass. She bit gently at his bottom lip and his mouth opened, allowing her to slip her tongue in. After a couple minutes, she pulled back, to dive down again to nip at his neck. Jeremy gasped and pulled back. Christine quickly sat up, frowning worriedly.

“Jer?”

“Could we just– just c-cuddle or something?” Jeremy breathed, looking up at her. 

“Yeah, of course!” Christine said with as much softness and warmth as she could shove into three words. As she slid off him to lie down and put her arms on her chest around her neck, she could feel the unasked questions about why in the back of her throat. She didn’t know the entire story of why Jeremy was so messed up about Sebastion, but she would let him tell her in his own time. She didn’t want to push him. 

As Jeremy’s breathing evened out in sleep again, she slipped out from under his arm around her quickly to flip off the light switch, and grabbed a blanket to pull over her boyfriend and herself. With Jeremy’s soft breathing in her ear, she drifted off, from her thoughts that she'd fended back to focus on her boyfriend, to dreams of Jeremy crying in the dark as she watched, unable to run to comfort him. Around her floated scripts and smoke and Michael’s glasses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm slow and. sorry these chapters take so long to write for how short they are. hope you guys like this, let me know with a comment and/or kudos that i shamelessly ask for every chapter!


	8. what the fuck is going on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> michael knows he fucked up a lot. why did he though? the mystery of sebastian continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did you say mostly dialogue? because that's what this chapter is. sorry. also this story's plot has changed so much, wow.

When Michael woke up the next morning to his alarm blaring in his ear, it took a few minutes for him to figure out why he had a pit of regret in his stomach. Oh, right, Jeremy.The room still smelt of weed and, like, B.O. or something. He groggily rubbed his eyes, sitting up and stretching his arms over his head, grabbing his glasses from next to his head. His room was a fucking mess, which was a little unusual. Sometimes he spilled shit or whatever when he was stoned, but he hadn’t ever made this much of a mess– clothes were all over, and one of his posters was on the floor, and his comforter was inside out, somehow. He hadn’t just gotten stoned, either. After Jeremy stormed out, and Michael could feel the pit in his stomach form, he wanted to get rid of it, so when the dude–Sebastion– brought out some other pill, he’d agreed to take it, a dumbass move he usually wouldn’t do. But Jeremy and Michael hadn’t really ever fought, and Michael hadn’t ever said something that blatantly insensitive, and he didn’t know how to deal with it. 

He climbed out of bed, searching through his mind for whatever else had happened last night. Honestly, after he downed that pill, (chasing it with Mountain Dew that Sebastion had, for some reason?) he didn’t remember much. That was not a good sign. Michael could feel his breath picking up. He leaned down to the nearest pile of clothes to his bed, scrabbling through it. He felt his phone at his fingertips and pulled it out, hand trembling as he unlocked it and clicked on Christine’s contact. The phone rang, and Michael glanced around his room, trying to scan for anything significant missing. It was a little hard when all he could think was ‘fuck I fucked up I fucked up oh my god oh my god-’

“Michael?” 

“Chris!” Michael gasped. “I fucked up!”

Silence. Obviously intentional silence, in which Michael could hear the killer glare Christine was giving the wall.

“Chris–”

“Yeah, no shit, fuckbrain!” Christine hissed into the phone. “Jeremy cried at Rich’s place for like three hours! Why the fuck would you do– do anything you did yesterday?”

“I don’t know,” Michael nearly sobbed. He stood up, grabbing for his hoodie. “He didn’t come home last night, did he?”

“He’s at my place- you didn’t even check?” Christine’s voice was so filled with rage it was a wonder the phone wasn’t aflame. 

Michael took an unsteady breath that did nothing. “I don’t remember much of last night– I don’t– I just woke up.”

Christine’s voice shifted just a little. “Wait– you don’t remember last night? Why– weed doesn’t make you black out, right?”

“I mean– no, I took a pill– and he’s gone–” Michael gasped into the phone. He couldn’t breathe. This was bad, he’d fucked up so badly, holy shit–

“Michael!” Christine was definitely less mad. “Deep breaths, okay? In four, hold seven, out eight– with me–”

Michael breathed as much as he could to her voice counting, but it still wasn’t doing much. Too many thoughts and what-if’s were flooding him, this didn’t usually happen, but he’d messed up so fucking bad–

“It’s not–” he croaked.

“Five things you see, Mikey, five things you can see,” Christine said, voice also kinda panicked now. She hadn’t really helped with panic attacks before, mostly because Michael didn’t have them often. 

“My– my bed, my hoodie, clothes on the floor, my glasses, the window,” he spat out quickly. 

“Four things you can touch?”

“Hoodie–” 

“Yeah–”

“Blanket,” he said, throat like sandpaper. “My skin. Cold air. The phone.”

“Three things you can hear.”  
“You, traffic, tech hum.” His breathing was slowing. 

“Two things you smell,” Christine whispered.

“Weed, B.O.”

“Gross,” she giggled. He laughed, breathless. “Taste?”

“I don’t know, morning breath?” Michael said. He was back. Okay, he was back. Now he had to explain himself. He could feel it coming. 

“Okay, are you good?” Christine asked him, sobering. 

“Yeah,” Michael sighed. “Thanks.”

“Just because I’m mad at you doesn’t mean I’m abandoning you when you need it,” Christine said. “I’m not gonna demand an apology before helping you with something like that. Also, you’re gonna apologize to Jeremy, face-to-face. We’re coming over, and we can work everything out, and you’re telling us what else you did and why.”

“Okay,” Michael said. “I’ll go– shower, or something.”

“You do that,” Christine said, and hung up. 

\---

When Michael got out of pondering his mistakes and maybe crying a little in the shower and padded out of his room in a tshirt and sweatpants, Jeremy and Christine were at the table in the kitchen. Jeremy was staring at windowsill, eyes hard, and Christine sipped at a mug of something. Michael cleared his throat, standing at the doorway awkwardly. 

“Hey,” he said. 

Christine nodded. “Sit.”

He sat, nervously. Jeremy hadn’t looked away from the windowsill, and Michael’s stomach was twisting itself further into knots. 

“So, Michael,” Christine said, sliding him a cup of coffee, which he immediately grabbed and took a sip of. “You have something to say to Jeremy.”

“Jer-” he started, and Jeremy turned to look at him. 

“Jer, I am so, so sorry, I don’t know why I did that,” he blurted, forcing himself to maintain eye contact with his best friend. 

“What did you do,” Christine prompted. Oh, he had to really go into. Right.

“I didn’t listen to you, and ignored your feelings and your history with him, and I’m so so sorry, can you forgive me?” he said, breathing out the last part. Jeremy looked away. 

“Why?” 

“Huh?”

“Why did you do any of that in the first place?” Jeremy asked. Hurt was seeping into the hard anger in his face. 

“I- I don’t know,” Michael said. 

“Wrack your fucking brain, Michael,” Jeremy said, voice rising. “You can’t just make me see my ex, who was fucking awful, who- who-”

He took a breath. “You completely steamrolled my warnings, my feelings, everything. What would make you do that?”

Tears pricked at Michael’s eyes. “I really don’t know… he just… I can’t remember!”

Christine stood up angrily, but Jeremy had paled, sucking in a breath. 

“Michael–” Christine started, but Jeremy pawed at her arm. 

“No– Michael, what do you remember?” he said quietly. “About– about him? Or yesterday, at all?” 

Michael’s head was pounding. “We met in the… park? After work… Then we came here, and I… was shitty to you, I’m sorry–”

“And then?” Jeremy said, panic shrill in his voice. Why?

“Then he gave me a pill…” 

“What did it look like? What did you take it with?”

“Mountain Dew?”

It was Jeremy’s turn to start to hyperventilate. “Oh my god, Michael–”

“Jer?” Christine put her hand on Jeremy’s shoulder. He flinched, and shook it off. 

“Should we call Rich?” Michael asked. 

“No– wait–” Jeremy breathed. “Don’t– do anything. Lemme just, lemme just– calm down.”

The last couple words sounded like they were more to himself than anyone else. 

Jeremy took a couple deep breaths, hands curled tightly around the edges of his chair. 

“Okay, Michael. Um. Don’t go near Sebastian. And, um, stick with someone you trust at all times. Please.”

Michael glanced at Christine. She shrugged, but worry was clear in her eyes. Neither of them had known Jeremy freshmen year, and neither of them knew the whole story. Michael’s head started vaguely aching.

“Just– yeah.” Jeremy abruptly stood up. “I’m gonna go to Rich’s. I gotta– Chris, can I use your car?”

“Of course,” she replied. She leaned forward and up, planting a kiss on Jeremy’s cheek. He smiled a small smile. Michael heard him mumbling under his breath as he bent to pick up the keys, and as he stepped away from them, he caught the words “he was fucking dead.”

"Wow. Okay," Christine said. "I'm gonna call him to make sure he's not gonna crash or anything– could that make his chances of crashing higher though? Michael?"

Michael was staring at the door. He shook himself. "Yeah. Uh, call him. Or at least tell Rich to call you when he gets there."

Christine nodded, tapping at her phone. "Smart. Done. Now, let's check to make sure all your stuff is here, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," Michael said. He let Christine lead him out of the room back to his bedroom. They looked through his stuff, picking up his ransacked room. 

"So, nothing valuable is gone, right?" Christine asked as she stepped back, eyes sweeping over the much cleaner room twenty minutes later.

"No," Michael said. "I'm kinda pissed he drank my soda though. I was saving that."

"What soda?" Christine asked. "I didn't see any bottles."

Michael frowned. "I got some old Mountain Dew Red from Spencer's a couple weeks ago. It's kinda weird though, I remember drinking green Mountain Dew. But the Red bottle's gone from the closet."

"That's really weird," Christine said, going over the trash can. "I didn't see any soda bottles in here."

She pawed through it. "Yeah, there's nothing in here."

"Fuckin' weirdo must have taken the bottle," Michael scowled. He shuddered. "That's shitty. Hey, has Rich called you yet?"

"He texted. Jer's fine."

"Yeah, okay. I'm still pissed about the soda. Why would he want my probably bad old Mountain Dew?"

"Maybe 'cause it's red," Christine snorted. "Why would you want it?"

"Jeez, okay," Michael said. "I don't know. Let's ask Jer when he gets back."

"Okay," Christine said. "You wanna watch a movie now? Just to take our mind off this weird crap."

Michael nodded. That sounded great. This weird shit surrounding Jeremy's ex was really creating a pit in the stomach. And the missing soda itched at his mind. Something was off there, but he didn't know what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i literally have no idea where this story is going. let me know if you like it.

**Author's Note:**

> here we go again trying another multi-chapter fic


End file.
